you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Randomize
