He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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