I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
