Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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