do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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