i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
