I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize