All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
now i know why i became what i already was.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
