She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm at about main and main street
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
