Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
