How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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