I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
