i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
