we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
