i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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