If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
