i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
