whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
