Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize