she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize