I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
