well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
