Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
