Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
