wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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