don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
im holly from the hills drunk
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
