If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Randomize
