What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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