I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Did you just see the Batmobile???
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i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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