i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
