you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
