it was like his penis was on wheels.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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