Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So many bounce houses so little time
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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