Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
