hotel room ftw
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
