You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
