Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
