I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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