highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
