So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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