Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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