Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
