i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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