It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
