It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
