turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
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Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
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I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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