sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
