im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
