only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
