Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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