used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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