Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
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but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
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Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
My vagina is very pro this idea
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
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