Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
