'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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