Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I need help removing her.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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