Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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