so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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