and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
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Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
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Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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