I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
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we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
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In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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