I think scott just propositioned me for sex
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
