how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
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