So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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