Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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