CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
