sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
